Because I have always been a social person, I make friends easily. And, each friendship I have is special in its own unique way. My slogan for years was“I love you man! You are my best friend!” Even now, when I run into an old friend who I haven’t seen in awhile, they will call out, “I love you man! You are my best friend!” Hearing this never fails to bring a smile to my face and joy to my heart that these people remember me this way.
Even though I was surrounded by friends throughout my life, I didn’t learn until later in life that the best relationship I could have was the relationship with myself. As the saying goes, “You can only love others as much as you love yourself.” It took a failed marriage, failed finances, and loads of stress to start my journey to becoming my own BFF. From my own life experiences grew the workshop, “How to Be Your Own BFF.” I want to help others who find themselves in draining relationships and unfulfilling careers, unable to say “no,” or unable to ask for what they want or need (and feel guilty if they do!) and who don’t trust themselves. I want to help them take the first steps toward becoming their own BFF. I know they needed to learn the same things I did!
Here's How I Became My Own BFF.
Let me set the scene for you. 7 years ago, I found myself in a marriage that had fallen apart. I had filed bankruptcy, so my financial life was in shambles. My coaching practice was not flourishing. I wasn’t taking very good care of myself. I was stressed and not eating. I indulged or drowned myself in wine more often than not. Let’s just say, I was NOT a very happy camper.
The bottom line was, I didn’t like myself. Because I didn’t like what I saw in the mirror I was hard on myself, saying things like:
“What is wrong with me?”
“Why can’t I get it together?”
“Why can’t I leave this marriage that I know is draining me?”
“I will never find anyone else to love me; I will always be alone.”
“I am such a big dummy for listening to my ex about holding onto a business I no longer had an interest in.”
This last one was the favorite one since I had moved on to coaching, which was the only thing that brought me any joy at that time.
Gosh! I realized that I would never say those things to my BFF if they were experiencing the same life events that I was! So, why would I say them to myself? We tend to talk to ourselves like that because we think somehow it will motivate us to make a change. But that does not work, my friend. If it did, I would have made the change much sooner!
On top of all the negative self-talk, when I claimed bankruptcy, regret and guilt joined the party. I regretted that I did not listen to myself about closing my business and selling what I could. Instead of trusting my own gut, I listened to what my ex thought was best for “us.”
Here’s the bottom line: I was a people pleaser, one who could not say no and would do things for others, even when it was detrimental to me. The thought of asking for what I wanted or needed, in a relationship or in life, wasn’t even in the realm of possibilities. I was left with little or no confidence. I had no sense of self-esteem or security, and worse, I was left with the core limiting belief that I am not capable!
Because I was a life coach myself, I was lucky to have a lot of resources to choose from, and I knew if I were going to really start thriving in my life, I had to do something. The first step for me was taking the time to get to know myself; I mean really get to know who I am, the good, the bad and the ugly.
After I learned who I was, I could then begin practicing self-compassion and upgrade my inner dialogue, using conscious language. Here I am now, 7 years later, in a different space and able to share the tools to personal growth that I have learned and practice.
If I can do it, so can you! The “Be Your Own BFF” retreat takes my years of self-discovery and healing, boiled down and distilled so that you can fast-track your own path to recovery and healing in a single weekend. I want to share what I learned (the hard way) and help you to take a quantum leap into a far higher version of yourself than you could have ever imagined possible. I want to help you to be gentle and loving on yourself like you would your own BFF.
Check out the retreat HERE.
If you’re interested but have questions, reservations, or any concerns about the retreat, hit reply and we can set up a 15-20 minute call to help you move through what is holding you back from “Becoming Your Own BFF.”
Here’s to loving yourself by investing in yourself,